Is anyone fed up of celebrity wannabe chefs popping out for an applause after eating in a restaurant?

VG I have said it before and I will say it again, you have such a way with words, could you be the reborn Shakespeare ? the new Wordsworth ? No you are the VG chav killer, the man on the spot, the cretin crusher, the malcontents malcontent, the words flow like spit of a hot shovel, I stand in wonderment at the audacity of the prose, the damned cheek of your repartee, in fact the damned cheek. That chef you slagged was no other than myself, as the acclaimed M. Anton Duval, chef extraordinaire and gourmet. naturally I was in disguise, it was to accredit feedback for my creations and along comes no other than VG..Buffoon extraordinaire, I was so taken aback It put me right off my stroke and I ended up pouring a pot of strawberry jam down the back of Mrs. Braithwaite the washer ups knickers. I am in front of the magistrate a week Wednesday.